Just Breathe
by Dawnandspike4eva
Summary: Rogue is in love with Logan. But she is with Remy. Can things get better for her, or will she end up alone? And what about Jean and the Proffesor trying to help her control her power, will she be able to touch someone again?


It was another hot morning. If it weren't for the air conditioner things would be unbearable, they already were. Rogue tossed in her bed, rolling from one side to the other. She couldn't sleep. It was going to be another long night. Insomniacs' curse. Maybe it was because she was nervous. She knew in the morning it was going to be another long day of being poked and prodded. The professor and Jean were just trying to help. Trying to find some way to help her control her powers. To help her. Because things were getting harder. She was getting older and not being able to touch anyone was killing her. A handshake, a hug, a kiss. To not be able to be held when you were hurt. And they were trying as hard as they could to help her. But it was hard to handle all the needles and medicine that made her groggy.

Rogue sat up in her bed and walked down the stairs towards the kitchen. It was better then sitting in her bed wide awake. She opened the fridge and pulled out a water. She cracked open the top and took a gulp. She stood in front of the cool fridge for a second.

"Couldn't sleep?" Wolverine walked into the kitchen a bright smile on his handsome face.

Rogue jumped at the sound of his voice. "Logan!" She shouted. "You scared me." She smiled.

"Sorry darlin'." He apologized flatly. "Could ya hand me a beer?" He requested.

"Sure." Rogue grabbed a beer and stretched out to hand it to Logan.

Wolverine reached over to take the beer and ran his hand over Rogue's bare skin. For a split second it felt amazing. She could feel someone's skin on hers she had missed that. Missed it when people actually attempted to touch her. His cold hand against hers was like a whole new experience it had been so long since someone had even dared to touch her. Logan pulled the beer from her hand and cracked it open.

"Uhm.." She stuttered over her words nervously. The feel of his touch had left her skittish.

"How's the testing going?" Logan asked calmly as he took a gulp from the beer.

"All right. I mean they haven't fixed me yet, but were hopeful." Rogue nodded.

"Marie?" He asked speaking her real name. Her given name. It sounded so sweet coming from his lips.

"Yeah." She answered nervous.

"Don't ever let anyone tell you that you need fixing. Your not broken, you just need to know how to control it." Wolverine stepped closer.

"Thanks." Rogue smiled. "It's nice to know some people care." She admitted.

"What Jean isn't considerate while she pokes you with needles." He said sarcastically.

"No, she's all right I guess." She hated hearing him speak her name. She knew how he felt about Jean. It was torment because she had feelings for Logan herself. But she was with Remy.

"Not a big Jean fan huh?" Logan smiled.

"Not nearly as much as you." Rogue frowned.

"Huh? If I didn't know any better I would say that was a hint of jealousy in your voice." Wolverine smirked.

"Good thing you know better." Rogue smiled but it was fake. The last thing she wanted was for him to realize her feelings for him and laugh. It could ruin their friendship.

"Yeah." He attempted a smile. "So how's Gambit?" He asked nonchalantly with a hint of sarcasm in his tone.

"Good I guess." Rogue sighed. "I mean he's sorta on edge. Seeing as he can't touch his girlfriend and all." She frowned.

"Yeah, well any guy would be lucky to consider himself your boyfriend. Even if he can't touch you." Login offered.

"Thanks, but it's still hard ya know." Rogue frowned as she took another gulp of her water.

"Marie?" Logan said in a low husky sounding voice.

"U-huh." She answered in a whisper.

"I-" He stepped closer. He hesitated. "You should probably get to bed, it's late." Logan offered a slight smile.

"Yeah." Rogue sighed.

Rogue walked back into her room. Across the hall was Remy's room. She wished she had the courage to go inside when she needed someone to talk to. She knew he would be all right with it. Because Remy wasn't like her. She was afraid to let him touch her. But he didn't care. She walked closer towards the door and touched her hand to the wood. She wanted desperately to go inside. Wished she had the courage.

"Waiting for someone?" She heard a voice from behind her. She turned around quickly.

"Remy?" Rogue looked at him shyly.

"Getting up the courage to come inside my room were you Mon Cherie?" He spoke with his thick French accent.

"Maybe." She smiled sheepishly.

"No need you be afraid of me Mon petite." He smiled as he walked closer to her.

"Yeah but you should be afraid of me." She frowned.

"I could never fear you Rogue." Remy offered. "Come on." He beckoned as he opened his door and led her inside.

As they went inside Wolverine watched from a distance. He could feel the jealously rising in his chest and he couldn't contain it. He was supposed to be in love with Jean Grey. But something inside him wanted Rogue. Something prayed they would find a way to control her power. Some way. So he could make a move. Though he always tended to take more chances then her own boyfriend did.

"Remy?" Rogue said as calmly as possible as she sat beside him on his bed.

"Yes my love." He answered her looking at her sullen face.

"What's gonna happen to me if they can't find a way to control it?" She asked confused.

"I'll be here." He promised. "By your side. Whether or not we can touch." Remy offered.

"Not forever Remy." She frowned. "No one can stick around forever. Even Bobby is with Kitty now. I mean things just keep falling apart with everyone I'm with. Because I can't touch anyone." Rogue suppressed the tears that wanted to fall.

"Rogue. Maybe, if we just tried." Remy suggested. "Just let me touch you." He pleaded.

"Remy last time you almost didn't come back." Rogue sighed. "You don't know when to stop." She admitted.

"I promise to stop." He sighed with a slight smile.

"All right. But if you get hurt don't blame me." She shrugged.

Remy ran his hand up Rogue's arm carefully. Rogue gulped nervous. It seemed all right, accept that Rogue was shaking like a leaf. She knew what it was like to cause someone to die. It was heartbreaking. And she never wanted to hurt Remy. He leaned into place a kiss on her lips. Who could think something so precious could be such a lethal weapon. Remy tried to hold back from the kiss. But he could never seem to pull away. He never wanted to. Just to be able to touch her was too good to be true. But before Remy knew it he was losing his breath and feeling a sudden pain shoot through his body. He was growing weaker. Rogue noticed and she pulled away as quickly as possible.

"Remy, are you all right?" Rogue asked nervous.

Remy gasped for air. "Yap." He replied breathlessly.

"I'm so sorry." Rogue said wanting to touch him to console him but knowing it would only make it much worse.

"Well you just take my breath away don't you my love." He smiled. "You should get to bed. It's late." Remy suggested. "You could stay here but I'm not sure I could control myself and that would end with my untimely death." Remy quickly kissed Rogue's cheek as she stood up and walked out the door. "Good night Cherie."

"Good night." She sighed walking out the door and shutting it behind her. Rogue walked across he hall and into her room. She slid into her bed under the sheets.

Things were getting harder. It was getting harder to be around Logan. Trying to hide how she had always felt about him. As more then just a big brother figure. As more then just a friend. And it was becoming even harder to bear being around Remy. He loved her helplessly and she did love him. It was like things just couldn't get any worse. Remy continued to try and make things better for them. Tried to consider what they had as normal. But it was wrong. Because Rogue was in love with another man. Though Remy didn't know that. She was happy with him. She would try her hardest to suppress her feelings for Logan because she did love Remy, just not as much a Logan. Remy couldn't stand not being able to touch her, when that was all he ever thought about.

Rogue rolled over in her bed. Maybe she could finally get some sleep. And to her dismay her thoughts ended with Logan. Instead of Remy. This was becoming a problem. She didn't want to hurt anyone. Especially Remy. There was herself to fear for as well. Losing Remy would kill her especially when Logan rejected her for her feelings, which he was sure to do.

Logan woke from a restless night. Another like usual, he never slept well anymore. Too many ridiculous thoughts in his head. Spinning around in a pool of doubt. Because he wanted Jean he knew that. Always had. They had belonged together long before Scott showed up. But something inside him was falling for someone else. Telling him that he wanted her. Screaming at him. But he couldn't follow through, because she was his friend. He got up and walked into the bathroom. He splashed some water on his face and looked into the mirror. He was stressed, tense. He couldn't stand this anymore, couldn't stand fighting it. But he knew he had to, because he was good now. Or at least he tried to be. Tried his hardest not to run when he wanted to. Tried now not to say the things he knew would cause people pain. Even though sometimes he wanted to. He walked into his room and threw on a white ribbed shirt and dark jeans. He walked into the living room where he saw Rogue and Remy on the couch and Kitty sitting on the floor. Kurt was on the other couch with Bobby. And Jubilee was on the floor picking at her black nail polish. Logan walked in and sat in the chair beside Rogue and Remy.

"Hey Logan." Rogue smiled wide.

"Hey kid." He said calmly as Rogue's face faded into a disappointed frown. He had called her kid that was the kiss of death.

"Logan." Remy nodded.

"Gambit." He replied. They had never really liked one another. Because Remy could see the way Logan felt about Rogue he was just pleased Rogue couldn't. He himself couldn't see how Rogue felt about Wolverine. He thought she just saw him as a friend. And Logan never like Remy because he was with Rogue.

"Logan?" Jubilee looked at him pleased.

"Yeah." He replied confused.

"How was your night?" She asked trying to make casual conversation. She had more then a big crush on him.

"All right I guess." He answered thinking about how not all right it really was.

"Rogue." Jean walked into the room her auburn hair falling into her face.

"Yeah." She answered looking up at her. Her southern drawl showing up drastically.

"More testing." She said calmly.

"Oh." She sighed. "See ya guys." She looked sad.

"Good luck Rogue." Remy offered.

"Good luck Marie." Logan said from behind her.

"Thanks guys." She said walking towards Jean.

Rogue followed Jean into the other room. She sat down on the cold table and sighed. It was another long afternoon of testing just as she suspected. She looked around the room as Jean looked through her table of supplies. She saw a cold doctors room with nothing but funky colored liquids and syringes.

"All right this will probably hurt a little bit, but not a lot." Jean nodded holding up a syringe.

"Okay." She sighed nervous.

Jean slid the needle into Rogue's veins as she squeezed her eyes tight. She knew if she moved it meant Jean would miss the vein so she had to be still. As still as possible. The needle didn't bother her it was the liquid sliding up her arm inside her veins. It burned. Like someone poured acid on her.

"Ow." She whimpered.

"Sorry." Jean apologized.

"So is this one working?" She asked hopeful.

"Well we can wait and see if it has any negative effects and if not we'll give you a stronger dose and then we can test it." She nodded.

"How long?" Rogue asked.

"Give it a couple hours then I'll come and find you." Jean looked at her watch. "I have a date in a few minutes. Then later we can do the rest of the tests." Jean smiled.

Rogue got up and walked towards the door. "So who's the lucky guy?"

"Logan." She answered.

"Oh." Rogue felt as if she had been punched in the stomach. "Have fun." She offered dryly. Then she left the room to find Remy. She went back to the living room where everyone was in there same positions as she left them accept Jubilee was in Rogue's seat chatting Logan's ear off.

"So how did it go?" Remy asked quickly hoping to shut Jubilee up, he was often annoyed by her.

"All right." Rogue sighed. "It hurt like hell. Jean said I should come back later for a stronger dose if this one goes well." She shrugged thinking about Jean's date with Logan.

"Logan." Jean walked into the room. "You ready?" She asked calmly.

"Sure am." He said jumping up and following her out of the room.

"Oh darn." Jubilee sighed popping her gum.

"Oh come on Jubilee, don't get so down." Pyro smiled walking into the room.

"Hey John." Jubilee attempted a smile.

Rogue walked farther into the room and stood in front of Jubilee who was in her seat. "Wanna move?" She said crossing her arms.

"What ya gonna do to me?" Jubilee hissed.

"Hmm...what can I do to you." Rogue slid off one of her white gloves with a sly look on her face.

"Fine." She sighed and got out of her chair.

Rogue sat down with a satisfied look on her face. She slid the glove back onto her hand and smiled. John sat in the chair beside her.

"So how did the tests go?" Pyro asked generously.

"Not sure. I have to take a stronger dose later and then test the results." Rogue rolled her eyes.

"Oh that sucks." He smiled.

"Yeah kinda does." Rogue nodded.

Rogue looked at the floor where Kitty was flipping through a magazine. She remembered how nerdy she use to be when she first came to Xaviers she had glasses that were now replaced with contacts and her hair was always in a braid. Something had changed when she came here. She was much more like Jubilee which was not necessarily a good thing. Jubilee was a major ditz at times. Though Rogue and her never fought they never really got along. They just weren't the same people. Rogue was close to Storm lately. They just seemed to have a lot in common. Being that they didn't have their head in the clouds...well metaphorically speaking.

"I think I'll go for a walk." Bobby piped in looking at Kitty who took a while to get what he meant.

"I'll come with you." She said tossing the magazine to the floor and following him out of the room.

"Well that wasn't obvious at all." John said laughing.

"No there prolly just going for a walk." Kurt laughed. "You can't always expect the worst of people." He smiled sarcastically.

"I'm starved." Rogue whined.

"Wanna go out?" Remy asked kindly. "Or just the cafeteria?"

"Join the rest of us in the cafeteria." John pleaded.

"All right. Cafeteria." Rogue stood up and so did Remy.

John, Remy, Rogue, and Jubilee all sat at the same table dining on their plates of food. They made polite conversation as Remy couldn't stand being around Jubilee as long as he was.

"So when is Jean going to give you the stronger dose?" John asked with a generous smile.

"Probably when she gets back from her date with Logan. Seeings as I don't feel any side affects." Rogue replied.

"Why do you wanna know so badly John?" Jubilee asked annoyed.

"No reason Lee, don't get your panties in a bunch." Pyro hissed.

"Your an ass John." She whined.

"Been called worse. And why wont anyone call me Pyro. Rogue is the only one who does." He rolled his eyes.

"Fine Pyro. Happy?" Jubilee hissed.

"Very." He smiled.

"Be civil y'all." Rogue spoke from the edge of her southern accent.

"We'll try." Pyro flashed her a wicked smile.

The rest of the lunch went well, not much but a few words were spoken. Something in Rogue wished she had taken Remy's offer to go out for lunch. She had a lot on her mind these last few hours. The testing was making her nervous, she was hopeful that she could find a way to control her powers. Afraid it would only make things worse. And all she could seem to think about was Logan and Jean out on a date. It was her worst nightmare. Jean and Logan together. Something she had always feared. Because she knew how Logan felt about Jean and with Scott gone there was no holding him back. Things were becoming problematic.

The remaining few hours before Jean got back were too hard for Rogue to bare. What happened? How did the date go? Were the next shots going to work? Could she be cured? So many questions running through her head she couldn't control it. Life was not getting easier. It seemed only more complicated. As she sat by the entrance to Xaviers biting her nails she could hear the front doors being opened. She waited for their entrance. Jean came storming into the room her eyes wide with anger.

"Just get over yourself Logan." Jean hissed.

"Oh trust me I have." Logan followed into the room an furious look on his rugged face.

"Oh, hi Rogue." Jean said noticing Rogue sitting on the couch in front of her. "Wanna get started with the shots?" She asked trying to keep her composure.

"Sure." Rogue answered shyly.

"All right follow me." Jean ordered walking into the other room as Rogue followed. "Sit down." Rogue did as she said.

"So things didn't go so well huh?" Rogue asked trying to sound concerned.

"Ugh." Jean growled. "He is a complete and total jerk." She rolled her eyes preparing a syringe.

"What happened?" Rogue questioned.

"He was so rude. He talked about Scott and how I should get over him being gone and...ugh!" She groaned.

"I'm so sorry Jean." Rogue apologized. Though inside she was pleased.

"This one will hurt much more." Jean spoke honestly. "When I say a lot I mean a lot." She stressed the words. "But you can not move. I think Remy should be here." Jean offered.

"That bad huh?" She frowned. "I'll go get him."

"No need." Jean answered. She pressed a button beside the door and put her mouth up to a speaker. "Gambit to Jeans office." She shouted into the speakers.

"Cool." Rogue smiled.

"Yeah it's pretty handy." Jean smiled holding the syringe in one hand as she waited for Remy to arrive.

A few second later he came charging into the room. "What?" He asked annoyed looking at Jean not realizing Rogue was in the room.

"This one is going to hurt." Jean held up the syringe and motioned towards Rogue who was sitting on the table.

"Oh." Remy frowned walking over to Rogue.

Jean walked closer to Rogue. "Tell me when your ready." Jean said calmly.

"Squeeze my hand." Remy smiled. Rogue reached down and held onto Remy's hand her white glove protecting him.

"All right." Rogue sighed nervous.

Jean reached for her left arm and looked for a good vein. Rogue squeezed her eyes shut holding onto Remy's hands as the needle slid into her arm. The liquid slid through her veins causing the pain to increase. It burned as it left an aching trail behind it. Her arm felt as if it were on fire and the liquid continued sliding through her body. Rogue's entire body began to burn and ache in pain. She let out an involuntary scream. Remy wrapped his arms around her and held onto her as tight as possible.

"It's all right darling." He whispered into her ear.

"Remy." She whined. "It hurts."

"I know." He held her tighter. He hated seeing her in pain, any kind of pain. He loved her too much to watch her hurt.

"Listen to me Rogue." Jean ordered. "Is it anymore then burning? Is there anything different?"

"No, it just burns." Rogue replied.

"Where?" Jean asked.

"Everywhere." She whined. Rogue was a strong person but this was overcoming her. She leaned her head on Remy's shoulder. Slowly the pain began to subside but it felt as if they were in there for hours. "It feels better." Rogue whispered.

"Take the glove off." Remy demanded.

"No." Jean ordered. "We have to take her to the professor. He can test it, while controlling it." She looked almost angry.

"No." Remy looked at Jean. "You wanna stop me Jean go ahead." He hissed. "Take off your glove Rogue." He ordered.

"Remy, I can't take a chance." She shook her head.

"Rogue." Remy reached down towards her hand as she pulled away. "Listen," Remy looked her in the eyes. "It's all right." Rogue slid the glove off of her hand. Remy reached his hand down to touch hers. He held her hand for a few seconds and nothing seemed to happen. They let their fingers intertwine with each others. Rogue smiled wide enough to outshine the sun.

"It's working." She looked as if she were about to cry.

"The problem is can you turn it back on?" Jean asked.

"I don't know." Rogue shrugged. "Maybe."

"You can try Rogue." Remy smiled. "It wont hurt me."

Rogue nodded. She closed her eyes and tried her hardest to focus on her power. Focus on getting inside his head, his memory's, his skin. Remy began to breathe heavily and Rogue pulled away. She looked down at him his veins protruding from his face.

"It worked." He laughed. "You can control it Rogue." Remy smiled.

"Finally." This time she couldn't control the tears as one slid down her pale cheek. Remy rushed to her side brushing the tear from her cheek. "You can touch me." She smiled.

"Yeah." He sighed. "I can."

_Authors Note: This is my first X-men fanfic so be kind. It is only the beginning but I am not sure how long it is going to be. Seeing as I have so many other fanfic's I am working on right now. Much love._


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